Giving and Money

All around, the typical messages of hope, love, and joy are being preached-especially since Christmas is right around the corner. I see countless movies where the moral is that it's better to give than to receive and I was sure that (like many other morals taught by movies and fables) that was a biblical concept. This verse isn't found in the canonical Gospels-but Paul thought it was important to remember at the time.

S: ...remembering the words the Lord Jesus himself said: 'It is more blessed to give than to receive.'

Acts 20:35

O: Paul was departing. He told the elders that they would probably never see him ever again from his departure. It was a sad moment, but he was reminding them that all throughout the time he spent building up their church, he constantly warned them against false prophets and people who would try to tear apart the church. With this farewell, he also said that he gave his all, providing for others who were weak, just like Christ did-because true to his word, Christ gave everything and received death.

A: Being involved in several ministries at NVC - Such as praise team for the youth and pathway, I should always be willing to invest myself and my resources in others. I love how one part of Korean culture seems to make a very positive impact on the congregation-and that would be how the older generation must take care of the younger one by paying for their food and looking after them. Just like this simple act of giving works powerfully in others. But beyond the food, money and time-when I truly want to give to someone, I ought to pray for them, especially in times of hardship.

P: Lord, your word rings true in my heart. It is so much better to give than to receive-I pray that you would etch that upon my heart. For when I am poor and at a loss, you bless me so much more because you see the true motive and heart behind it. I may be very low on money at times, but teach me to utilize the little that I have to bless my praise team and my friends. May I consider all my money to be Your money for it really is. I pray that in all my spending, it would glorify you. In Christ, amen.

Pain, Bitterness and Hardship

S: And now, compelled by the Spirit, I am going to Jerusalem, not knowing what will happen to me there. I only know that in every city the Holy Spirit warns me that prison and hardships are facing me. However, I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me - the task of testifying to the gospel of God's grace.

Acts 20:22-24

O: Paul had spent over 2 years preaching in Ephesus, making disciples and facing opposition from idol-makers. At this point, Paul is preparing to leave and is speaking to the elders of the church. As Paul states, he feels a burden on his heart to go to Jerusalem-with no regard to his own personal safety. He understood that his ministry was going to be painful, bitter, and filled with hardship just as much as the blessings filled it. But, his focus remained on the task that God entrusted him with. Just as much as Paul invested his entirety on God's work, I need to have the same fervor, the same attitude, especially with the foreknowledge that life is going to get very difficult because I'm follower of Christ.

A: Every troubling time must be handed to God in prayer. This last week was hell and I hardly prayed at all! I need to accept that although times are stressful, I must have peace. My life is nothing if I'm struggling for God-can't stay sitting in my comfort zone.

P: Lord, thank you so much for today's word. Lord, I t hank you for Your blessings and teachings. Especially when you helped me tonight with a few encouraging videos and passages. Lord, things suck so bad right now-I feel the hopelessness of applying to schools beyond my caliber and grades, but teach me to give up these things to you. Who am I, that I would worry for my own sake? By your outpouring of grace, I can only live for Your concerns because that ought to be my real focus. Instill in me a heart of desire for a radical life-one that disposes of all petty worries and wishes and instead spends all of my capacity to glorify You and You alone. In Christ, amen.

Praise Nights

The Gospel was preached, the Holy Spirit worked, and it was just an amazing weekend. But it isn't over yet. There is much to be prayed for-people need to carry this fire to their respective schools.

Tonight, the biggest thing that hit me was how the speaker started with 4 people praying at 7:30 in the morning at his school-and eventually the group grew to 70...then to 500 and so forth! It's just like my reading in Acts-the church grows bigger and bigger when people come together to pray. Prayer makes things happens. It is tantamount!

So let us pray for our schools, loved ones all around us, and for God's glory to be revealed everywhere. Pray, pray, pray.

God's Favor

S: Then Peter began to speak: "I now realize how true it is that God does not show favoritism but accepts men from every nation who fear him and do what is right..."

O: God showed Peter a vision before he met with Cornelius the centurion(who had been ordered to find Peter). As Peter realized that the separation of Gentiles and Jews was done away with because of Christ, he expresses this realization openly with this passage. Is it so true that God does not show favoritism. It is not our abilities our talents that draws God in, but rather men who are of Godly character and those men who strive for righteousness.

Tonight was the Gospel Night and it was awesome! God really did move and this passage speaks to me in a way that which solidifies the fact that it is not the program or the praise team that moved people. It wasn't the fact that we had awesome musical equipment or an amazing speaker. But it was because we have people who are of Godly character that God showed favor on what happened tonight. People who cast aside the materialistic and reputation for the Lord's sake will always find themselves in His favor because they know the usefulness of such things-but they also know that true worth is in being right in God's eyes.

A: I must strive for continual growth. To grow in an ever-growing fear of the Lord and lifelong process of sanctification. I need to shed my attachments to guitars and my pride in having them. To move forward, I need to cast off my desire for credit. All these things must be thrown aside for they have no worth.

P: Lord, praise you for your awesome works. You have moved in the hearts of those who were not believers and you have also brought a great reminder to those who already believe. Father, I pray that you continually work in their hearts and in mine. That we would make our goal to genuinely 'fear you and do what is right.' With that, I pray that your favor would be upon us all as we make our way towards being men and women of Christ. In Christ, amen.

Together, in the Spirit

S: Then the church throughout Judea, Galilee and Samaria enjoyed a time of peace. It was strengthened; and encouraged by the Holy Spirit, it grew in numbers, living in fear of the Lord.

Acts 9:31

O: As Paul converted to Christianity, the church was steadily on it's way to basing it's foundation on Christ. Eventually the church had become unified under God and the church as a whole was 'living in fear of the Lord.' When will the churches in the Bay Area or in California be like that? When will our church, NVC, be like this? I can only imagine that the churches in Acts were enjoying their time spent with God and other brothers and sisters.

A: The church in Acts is a model for all churches. To be a body of Christ means to be unified-working in tandem. As we resolve conflicts and break barriers between age groups, cultures, and so forth, we will see unity being brought together through love and as this passage says: Living in fear of God and being encouraged by the Holy Spirit.

P: Lord, thank you for your Word. I pray that you would mold our church to be like the one in Acts-that we, as your church, would live in fear (not terror or horror, but in awe and trembling) of you. For we do not wish to sin against You or turn from you. Bind us in unity and teach us to do so in love. I see so many conflicts and things that I feel would be our undoing-but restore my faith in You. For it is not ourselves, personally that make what this church is, but by Your hand, you shape us to what you will. May we be teachable. In Christ, amen.

I Once was Blind, but Now I See

S: Then Ananias went to the house and entered it. Placing his hands on Saul, he said, "brother Saul, the Lord-Jesus, who appeared to you on the road as you were coming here-has sent me so that you may see again and be filled with the Holy Spirit." Immediately, something like scales fell from Saul's eyes and he could see again. He got up and was baptized, and after taking some food, he regained his strength.

O: In midst of persecuting Christians in Damascus, Saul was struck blind as Christ asked Saul why he was persecuting his followers. Then God ordered Ananias to go to Saul and restore his eyesight-while Ananias was hesitant, he obeyed after God said that Saul was chosen to be used by God, himself. I may have never persecuted the church, but I remember the times before I accepted Christ. I had a deep loathing for Christians and the church itself. I did everything I could to avoid the services, bible study, and people. But as God demonstrated with Saul, God even has a plan for those who have contempt for the church. Quite often, he uses the worst and creates something wonderful. I remember when my friend Kevin and I finally met after I was saved and we would laugh and reminisce about how God used the scum of KFBC (us) and transformed our lives to something that had worth-living for Him. Our lives are evidence of how hopelessly blind we were and how it could only be God that finally opened our eyes.

A: There is no application-but perhaps we should bless those who persecute us, like Jesus said. Even the craziest, blood-thirsty Christian-killer could somehow be saved. Anything is possible. Look at Saul. Look at me and Kevin-God is so tangible in the sense that he could change the hardest of hearts.

P: Lord, how thankful I am for your persistence. You never gave up on me. You were always faithful. Thank you. I love how you pursued me with a deep passion and despite my running away, you caught me and I couldn't help but try to return the same passion and love you had for me. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Please remind me each day of how you were always there. You are, without a doubt, the king of my heart. I can only ask that you move others in the same way. In Christ, amen.

Dying for God

S: While they were stoning him, Stephen prayed, "Lord Jesus, receive my spirit." Then he fell on his knees and cried out, "Lord, do not hold this sin against them."

Acts 7:59-60

O: Stephen died defending his faith. As the religious leaders executed him, he said something similar to what Jesus said when he was being crucified - Not holding this injustice against them. Stephen was true to Christ's teachings to the very end.

A: Would I hold out to the very end? Is my faith strong enough to face the possibility of death or execution because of the very faith I hold to? I don't think so. But I hope that one day that I would have the privilege and faith to be able to hold my head high and die for Christ. It sounds so strange-but I know that something like that would never happen until I became much older and mature in my faith. But, rather than dreaming to die for Christ-I pray that would live a life worthy of a beautiful ending. To live is Christ, to die is gain!

P: Lord, I thank you for your Word. Stephen was a man whom all your children could look up to-I pray that you would strengthen and prepare our hearts. I pray that you would create in me a faith so strong and rooted in Christ that I would gladly lay down my life daily for you. Whether it be living or if I should die, I pray that it would only be for you. In Christ, amen.

Passing it down

S: Brothers, choose seven men from among you who are known to be full of the Spirit and wisdom.

Acts 6:3

O: As the church in Acts grew even larger and gained more and more believers, it became the church's responsibility to take care of the widows so that the apostles could devote their focus on prayer and their respective ministry. There is a shortage of leaders in the church and by the discernment of current pastors/leaders/directors, those who have potential are delegated to lead ministry. As of now, I've led worship and praise for almost 2 years now and it seems like it is coming to an end. My responsibility has shifted and I must look to the tasks that God has appointed me to focus on. Just as I will not be the Friday night praise team leader forever, I must be on the lookout for someone 'full of the Spirit and wisdom' as well as giving them my advice and experience. It has come to the point where I need to let go (3 years into college now, how laughable :) and let someone else with a heart for God take over.

A: Passing down responsibility is a big decision and it must be approached in a prayerful fashion. There is little to be done other than waiting and praying on the right person to step up and take on the responsibility of being a leader. As I am very attached to the youth praise team, I feel that I would scrutinize and critique up and coming leaders thoroughly. But, I must also remember that it is not my standards that need to be lived up to-rather, like the Word says, someone who is full of the Holy Spirit is indeed the right candidate.

P: Lord, I ask you send someone who is capable and is of your approval. I pray that you would bring out his or her talents to the fullest and have them truly recognize the lifestyle of worship. But above all else, I pray that they, like many others before them, would be anointed by the Holy Spirit. That is the most important and I wish to see someone just like that! In Christ, amen.

God is Unstoppable

I remember watching this video when Brian Yoo showed it to me awhile back during the playoffs. Still as hilarious as ever but I just wanted to throw it in since today's passage reminds of it. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IINIlhtkzcw

S: Therefore, in the present case I advise you: Leave these men alone! Let them go! For if their purpose or activity is of human origin, it will fail. But if it is from God, you will not be able to stop these men; you will only find yourselves fighting against God.

Acts 5:38-39

O: The apostles had healed many people and even more people came to believe in God. The high priest and his fellows became jealous of the apostles and their success. As a result, the high priest arrested the apostles and put them in prison. An angel broke out the apostles and they simply started preaching in the temple again. As the Sanhedrin (Jewish supreme court) made it clear they wanted to execute the apostles for teaching in Jesus's name, a Pharisee named Gamaliel said this very verse which rung very clear in my heart tonight. When goals and dreams are approached with human effort and motives, it will without a doubt, fail. But when God wills his people to do something and they obey Him, they will succeed and nothing will deter them. This verse is literally a battle-cry where I know that if God is on my side, no force that opposes me has even the slightest chance to upset His plans.

A: I need to know that I am safe-guarded. The Lord is on my side and everything that I do that is of Him will be successful. But, still I fear when the tides turn and when the going gets rough. I try to place my faith in God during the stormy seasons but I often cling to a different only to find myself drowning in my fears. I must know the perspective of how I am kept under the Lord's watchful eye.

P: Heavenly Father, I thank you for your reassurance in this passage. You are the God of the universe and I honestly have nothing to fear because YOU are my Father! Thank you for always being there to support me-whether I know it or not. There is nothing on heaven nor on earth that could match your power and wisdom. For all my successes are not counted as my own, but because you were right there working through me, I was able to succeed. Teach me to cling to you and your strength so that I may continually do Your will and not my own. You are my full surrender-complete reliance upon You. In Christ, amen.

Unschooled and Ordinary

S: When they saw the courage of Peter and John and realized that they were unschooled, ordinary men, they were astonished and they took note that these men had been with Jesus.

Acts 4:13

O: The number of believers that had been three thousand from the time Peter preached had grown to five thousand. The priests and rulers arrested Peter and John and demanded to know how they had gained support and belief so quickly. As Peter told the rulers that the healing of the crippled man was done 'by the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth (Acts 4:10).' After that point the rulers realized that both Peter and John were uneducated and rather ordinary people. And just like them, I am not extraordinarily gifted with knowledge or talent. In the same way, this passage gives evidence of the statement "You use the weak to lead the strong." Instead of Peter or John relying on their own wits, or talents, or education-they preached the gospel with confidence as they were filled with the Holy Spirit despite their humble backgrounds.

A: The Holy Spirit can move more people in a day than my own efforts and talents used for a lifetime. But, by using my God-given talents and by centering my efforts around God, the Holy Spirit can anoint my actions. I have a unique background in theater and music. I am not afraid to talk on stage nor do I shy away from the opportunity to meet new people in the church thanks to years of theater studies! On the other hand, Praise team has been the ministry where God has called me to use my musical abilities to the fullest. I see where God has placed me and where the Holy Spirit can freely move through my actions-I just need to walk in confidence, placed in Christ. But above all of this, even if I did not have any of these gifts, I must always remember that others would still be moved due to the fact that it is God alone that changes lives-I am only an instrument.

P: Father, I praise you for raising and teaching me. Like your apostles, Peter and John, I pray that I would adhere to the same attitude they held when they led thousands to Christ and healed a crippled man. The attitude that proclaims that nothing is done by our own power, but rather everything that is good and worthy of praise is because of you. When revival happens, friends and family are saved, and when the truth is made known-we are only witnesses and messengers of you. Teach me to walk in humility-that although I may want to have my talents multiplied through my faithfulness; everything good that comes out of my actions is all glory to you, Father. In Christ, Amen.

Soap Bubbles

I've More than the Worthless Things

S: Then Peter said, "Silver or gold I do not have, but I have I give you. In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, walk." Taking him by the right hand, he helped him up, and instantly the man's feet and ankles became strong. He jumped to his feet and began to walk. Then he went with them into the temple courts, walking and jumping, and praising God.

Acts 3:6-8

O: Peter, empowered by faith, healed a lame man. The man was trying to make the best of his situation-he had settled on the fact that he was crippled and that he needed to beg for money to support himself. Peter, however, did not have any money to offer, but rather had a greater gift-to heal and change the man's life forever. Quite often, I expect 'silver or gold' rather than 'in the name of Jesus Christ.' One too many times I am satisfied with my trash-materialistic objects like guitars and money. But, here lies a greater treasure-faith in God will give me so much more than what this world has to offer me. Just like how people may thank me for taking them out to eat or lending them money, I can offer so much more to others by assisting them in their walk. Being placed in a unique position within the youth, I could do so much by simply demonstrating faith, just like how Peter confidently took the man by the right hand and "helped him up."

A: God has infinitely greater worth than anything of this world. Having faith in God leads to so much more than a fulfilling life. It brings God's presence into both my life and others around me. I may not have the most money nor do I have the flashiest car-I cannot appeal to those who seek such things. However, I have Christ-and he is ultimately to be shared with others as offerings of gold and silver will fade away. But Christ is eternal! In realizing God's worth, others and myself will see more and more of how wonderfully gracious and loving God is. As that happens, things that used to mean a lot to us, will no longer have much value-Just as Paul wrote in Philippians, everything is considered loss in comparison to knowing Christ.

P: Lord, I thank you for what you have spoken to me through this passage. I pray that I would have an impact on those around me despite the fact that what I have to offer is not attractive to the world. However, I pray that you reveal the true worth of your Son to others through my best efforts. Lord, I ask that you teach me to love others in confidence and that I would not hesitate to exemplify Christ to my brothers, sisters, peers, co-workers, whomever! In Christ, amen.

Soapppppppppp

The Spirit is the source

S: "God has raised this Jesus to life, and we are all witnesses of the fact. Exalted to the right hand of God, he has received from the Father the promised Holy Spirit and has poured out what you now see and hear."

Acts 2:32-33

O: 50 days after the resurrection, an amazing thing happened-The day of the Pentecost. The very day when the Holy Spirit came. As many people (Jews and Gentiles alike) witnessed the apostles (now filled with the Spirit) speaking in different languages. Different Jews from different nations heard their native tongue being spoken and were amazed. As the apostles quite simply shared gospel, three thousand people were saved-by the power of the Holy Spirit. Three thousand PEOPLE ! It is just amazing how the Holy Spirit works and witnesses to others through us.

A: I must remember that the Holy Spirit is upon me. That He prays on my behalf and that I must listen. He is my teacher, my guide, my comforter. This verse contains evidence of the Trinity in work-Christ, the Son's ascension. God, the Father pouring out the Holy Spirit upon the apostles. Everything that witnesses to others-whatever is good comes from God. With the Holy Spirit in me, God makes the impossible, possible.

P: Lord, praise you for your plans. That even when Christ ascended into heaven, you had in mind that the Holy Spirit would come to assist us in living this life for you. Father, I pray that you would have the Spirit work even more in my life-that I would be used to bring forth your good works. Sanctify me and make me anew-constantly break my heart and let me be sensitive to the Spirit's movement. I pray that I would not grieve the Spirit-rather that I would consult him for everything. In Christ, Amen.

Tired

I will not be doing a lifejournal tonight. I feel wiped. Hopefully I can do two tomorrow.

Soapy

Trust in the Father

S: He said to them: "It is not for you to know the times or dates the Father has set by his own authority. But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth."

Acts 1:7-8

O: Luke is the supposed author of Acts, addressing this letter to Theophilus (as he refers to 'my former book' The Gospel of Luke). Luke is quoting Jesus's words when Jesus was resurrected and ministered for 40 days, speaking of the Holy Spirit. As the apostles asked Jesus whether or not this is the time when an earthly kingdom would be established (Israel being freed of foreign domination), Jesus answers with this word. Along with sending the Holy Spirit, Jesus speaks of missions being carried out as well as saying that God withholds the knowledge of coming events and situations. I see that Jesus speaks of a time when our faith is to be bolstered and strengthened by the Holy Spirit. Despite that we may not know what is ahead, when we work solely for God, we are to be sustained by the Spirit.

A: I used to have a problem with not knowing what the "master plan" was. However, as clearly as this Scripture has shown me-God has set what He wills. I may not know it, but by his authority I ought to trust Him. On top of that, I should also keep in faith when difficult and frustrating situations arise because the Holy Spirit is indeed upon me. Whether I stumble upon unexpected struggles or just plodding through everyday life, I must remember that God is in charge.

P: Lord, I thank you for this word. Though it is a simple and repeated wisdom in the church, I pray that I may know it in my heart rather than just in my head. I pray that in the midst of troubling times, I would know that You are sovereign. Teach me to trust You even when it seems as if I'm in the dark.

Soap

Lambs and Sheep.

S: "Simon son of John, do you truly love me more than these?"

"Yes, Lord," he said, "you know that I love you."

Jesus said, "Feed my lambs."

Again Jesus said, "Simon son of John, do you truly love me?"

He answered, "Yes, Lord, you know that I love you."

Jesus said, "Take care of my sheep."

The third time he said to him, "Simon son of John, do you love me?"

He said, "Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you."

Jesus said, "Feed my sheep..."

John 21:15-17

O: As a second observation, while reinstating Peter, Jesus commissions Peter to feed his lambs, take care of his sheep, and feed his sheep. Lambs, like younger children and new born-again Christians hold a special place in Christ's heart. They must be fed (milk) with the word and they need to be taken care of. Sheep, however are just as important as maturing Christians need to still be constantly taken care of and fed.

A: Those who are new to the faith need to be fed good food. Although, just like babies, they can't take solid food-rather they need to be fed slowly and constantly to ensure growth. And as they grow and take in more truths and more solid food, they still need to be taken care of-We're all a part of God's flock but it is our duty to take care of those who may not be constantly fed. We are to approach our younger brothers and sisters with an attitude of serving so that they may mature and grow.

P: Lord thank you for your word! Upon just this one passage, there are great things you have commanded. I pray that you would keep it in my heart-that I would take care of those whom you have entrusted me with. Teach me to lay down my life for your lambs and sheep.

Soap-a-fied

Along with my Life Journal for today, I'd also like to write out reminders for this month:

1. College apps/essays/letters of rec need to be finished by the end of this month (if I want to enjoy my winter break at all)

2. Traffic School final test needs to be turned in and notarized by Tuesday

3. Movie night on Tuesday-Wednesday

4. Begin making praise sets for winter retreat (Back to Basics)

5. Make praise night set by next Sunday (Praise night on 20th and 21st)

6. Send Jonathan my schedule

7. Guitar practice - Solo arpeggios, jazz licks, and classical pieces. Along with getting a Misty backing track and learning new songs for jamming.

Three times denied and Three times forgiven

S: "Simon son of John, do you truly love me more than these?"

"Yes, Lord," he said, "you know that I love you."

Jesus said, "Feed my lambs."

Again Jesus said, "Simon son of John, do you truly love me?"

He answered, "Yes, Lord, you know that I love you."

Jesus said, "Take care of my sheep."

The third time he said to him, "Simon son of John, do you love me?"

He said, "Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you."

Jesus said, "Feed my sheep..."

John 21:15-17

O: Jesus Reinstates Peter. What does reinstate mean? The Merriam Webster dictionary defines reinstate as two:

1 : to place again (as in possession or in a former position)
2 : to restore to a previous effective state

My favorite synonym of the word reinstate would have to be "redeem" which is more often used in everyday Christianese.

Peter, in John 18, denies Jesus and anything to do with him three times. Jesus, then follows up by asking three times in a row if Peter loves him or not. Jesus asks if Peter loves him 'more than these.' Peter had claimed a greater devotion to Jesus than the other disciples but at this point in Scripture, he responds quite humbly without reference to his fellows with "you know that I love you." Jesus then proceeds to ask Peter "...do you truly love me?" Peter once again responds the same. Then the third time, Jesus asks in a different fashion-"Do you love me?" and Peter responds with acknowledging that Jesus knows his heart.

A: We see God's grace so clearly in this passage. Just as Peter denied Christ, all of us deny Him through our moments of sinfulness. When our lives are not given up in worship, we can only be living in denial of the Holy God. Jesus freely gave his forgiveness to those who sought it. I imagine that Peter was desperately seeking repentance the moment he recognized who Jesus was after the Resurrection. So should we, when we recognize that we have fallen short.

P: Lord, I thank you for the truth you have given me through a quiet and simple research of these verses. I pray you reveal to me your truths without my dependence on others. I also thank you for the grace and mercy you have poured out upon me for the countless times I denied you. Maybe I did not deny you openly, but just as wrongly-I denied you with just the way I led my life. Praise you Lord for your kindness.

Soap-a-licious

S: If you forgive anyone his sins, they are forgiven; if you do not forgive them, they are not forgiven.

-John 20:23

O: Jesus is speaking to the disciples after he rose from the grave. He is sending them out to preach the gospel and is not literally talking about forgiving others of their sin. Rather, he is saying when the gospel is preached, people are either forgiven or not based on whether they believe or reject Him. I would do well to understand that God places people in my life that I must share the gospel with. By doing so, God can use me to actually bring someone out of darkness.

A: There will be times when I have an opportunity to share the gospel - I need to be ready by having my testimony or just a simple explanation of the gospel at hand. Also, by praying for divine appointment, I am more than sure that God can use me...if I am willing.

P: Lord, thank you for your grace-that you would consider to even use me as your servant. As I may readily serve in my respective ministry of praise team, I pray that you may also use me as a mouthpiece to others who have not yet heard your Word. Bring those who are in need and open my eyes to their plights-Upon that, I pray that you also ready my heart to be prepared in confidence and wisdom for whomever and whatever may come.

Soapy soap soap.

S: Yet a time is coming and has now come when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the kind of worshipers the Father seeks. God is spirit, and his worshipers must worship in spirit and in truth. John 4:23-24

O: Jesus is speaking to a Samaritan woman about how the time and place of worship is irrelevant in comparison to how people go about worshiping God. Spirit being God, worshiping in spirit meaning that we adhere to God's nature. Truth being Christ (something heavily emphasized throughout the book of John...) -

The Word became flesh 1:14

...grace and truth came through Jesus Christ 1:17

If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free. 8:31-32

I am the way and the truth and the life. 14:6

Christ is the Word. Grace and truth come through Christ and if you hold to the teachings of truth (the Word...being Christ!) you will be set free. Christ is the only path, the absolute truth, and bridge to salvation.

If we say we are rooted in Christ, it means that we hold to the Word and it's infallibility. We obey the very commands of what we believe to be true. As we do all these things (also conforming our souls to Gods), only then do we truly worship in spirit and truth.

A: This is such a broad and large piece to chew on. However, to worship God, I need to make sure that I am not only praying to be changed or only soaking in the Word. Rather I must follow Christ as the ultimate truth and do all of the above. As worship should be a daily struggle to live for God, I need to look back upon this everyday and diligently commit myself to doing LJ's and prayer.

P: Lord I ask that you mold me to be more like You. I also ask that you give me the strength to follow up and continually seek, obey, and learn from You through your Word, who is Christ, who is truth! Teach me to worship in spirit and truth-that I may be a genuine worshiper, not just from the outside. More importantly, I pray that you move in my heart and change it as You see fit. In Christ, Amen.

-Will

In 2 Days

It'll be my prelim round (I'm in the 2nd round) for the King of the Blues competition at Guitar Center. My round starts this Thursday, 7:00 at the San Jose GC, if anyone is interested in coming to watch me, or support me that'd be really cool :]

I'm so nervous and excited at the same time, after reviewing a couple of the KOTB prelim videos that people put up for the 1st round. There are some very good players and some...not-so-good players, haha. I just wish I didn't have to compete here in San Jose cause I know that there are some really good players in this area...Hopefully all the bad players signed up for the second round!

I'm keepin' it simple - Playing over a track called "A Minor Affair" and I'm probably going to take my Les Paul and just one or two pedals (Fulltone OCD and Mosfet) right into a Fender Deville or Hot Rod Deluxe. I've got parts of it mapped out but on the other hand, I know when I play live, things somewhat change, especially when there happens to be people watching and listening.

Hopefully I don't get placed with a bunch of blues veterans and get swept the first round...That would totally suck :[

Anyhow, I'll be practicing/praying/worrying all day today and tomorrow - Wish me the best, thanks!

Another Day

Back from retreat, it was pretty sweet.

So lots of friends are heading off to college. I have loved and cherished the class of 09 - It really pains me to have them leave church because they were perhaps the greatest encouragement to me in so many ways.

But enough of that, God is moving in mighty ways and I'm anxious to get swept up in the tide. The school year is about to start and I need to think of strategies to tackle it so that I may seriously conquer for Christ, one day at a time.

TODAY, I must:

Apply to places for a job

Go to Ohlone to schedule an appointment with a counselor

QT

Practice for King of the Blues

Work with my sister for her community service hours for PJ

Lets do it!

King of the Blues

So recently, I signed up for a blues guitar competition - It's mostly on a whim and for fun but I really, really hope I make it past the preliminaries and the store finals. I can't really expect to get past the district and regionals but one can dream :]

It's somewhat overwhelming preparing for this as I know I need to practice a whole lot to get up to par...One thing I really wish I could do is to be able to play very fast smooth melodic lines-I suppose a good form of shredding. But I'm preparing to practice everyday for at least 4 or 5 hours and I'll be setting up my practice regimen on this blog...

The competition itself will begin on August 28th

July - 29th (today) - I will start warming up my scale knowledge and start learning the other positions in a more in depth sense. I'm looking through a couple of videos to get some more blues influence upon my playing...

I need to work on:

Speed - Metronome practice up to 160 bpm

Rhythm - Metronome practice up 160 bpm

Licks - 5 new licks mastered everyday

Phrasing - Improvisation

Showmanship - Rockout

Technique - More pulloffs and hammer-ons as well as speed

I believe if I do this everyday for the month of August, I'll have a good solid performance. Some other stuff I need to remember is that I need to try out some pedals to work with and to make an arrangement on either the Texas Blues or Train-beat blues backing tracks, depending on how well my training regimen goes.

Can't wait!

Selfish Pride

Purge me from this madness, of selfish pride

O' Lord

This self-destructive whim,

O' Lord

Cast away the temptation that befalls me

Break the chains that only exist in my mind and heart and

Without You

I cannot-

To be among the humble and contrite, however,

I would be stripped of selfish pride

To You, and You alone

May there be glory

In eternal, unfading light

In eternal, unfading light

May there be glory

To You, and You alone

I would be stripped of selfish pride

To be among the humble and contrite, however,

I cannot-

Without You

Break the chains that only exist in my mind and heart and

Cast away the temptation that befalls me

O' Lord

This self-destructive whim,

O' Lord

Purge me from this madness, of selfish pride

Today, as I played raquetball I felt like everyone was fawning on how great my sister was becoming and I felt at such a loss for no one commented on whether I was improving or not. So, as I always do in my self-depreciation, I felt extremely inferior as I lost yet again to my sister and her parter, Mason.

I hate the feeling of wanting to be the best. It brings the desire to compete, win, and overall bring glory and pridefulness into my life. I want to be the best at guitar, raquetball, etc all for myself-not for God. And today after my bout' with a bit more porn, I come back to something God said to me earlier as I was slamming out my frustrations upon the raquetball. "I shall strip you of selfish pride. It brings you down to the lowest depths." And I felt like crying because it was quite true-God convicted me but I thought little of it and in my apathy I write about it so that I may open my heart even just slightly.

I don't like being broken, and like an alcoholic in pain that turns his pain into drinks, I turn my loneliness and frustrations into masturbation and self-loathing. Sounds a bit dramatic but I think I'm a pretty typical guy, just being slightly more honest than the last one. I mean, I lost my Bible at church-I'm pretty damn annoyed about that. It forces me to read my NLT bible, which isn't my first choice for qts but it's a sentimental book, seeing as it was the one Esther gave me. I suppose it wouldn't hurt to stick to it for awhile.

After a quick prayer for myself, I think I may head in for the night. It's been a bit rough on me for the past few days so I'm trying to get more rest in as I'm headed back for the work-out routine every night. I'm feeling quite healthy, physically...but spiritually I'm basically becoming more bitter and saying screw off to other Christians that piss me off. I'm starting to think it's unhealthy to only have Christian friends. Especially ones that are basically all younger than myself.

Is there a pre-requisite for praise team leaders/bible study teachers? Do I need to be perfectly holy and have complete unwavering faith? The answer is no. But I must strive for it and I believe that I'm so close to a radical change in my Christian life if I only said no to my sins. So am I making a promise right now? Psh, to hell with that. I would try, but I've found that my promises are much too easily broken. If there was ever a requirement for such leaders, it was only if they were willing to serve for the Kingdom. Doesn't matter if you smoke, cheat, steal, drink, curse, etc. Not my problems, but even if they were...

That's why I'm asking God to seriously help. "I just can't fucking do it by myself." Biggest cliche I've ever heard in my life-"Let God take the burden." How? THAT'S MY QUESTION. HOW? Sorry, God-show me cause I've heard you can. I've hit this point too many times and backed off every time. But I am saying no more. I'm sitting right here, in my sinfulness, asking you to show me how you will conquer my sin-making me someone new. Please.

I'm hoping to be freed.

He is my soul

Your heart holds mine

As your words pierce it through

Your spirit pushes mine

As I lift it up to you

Your love instills my own

As the joy it brings me now

Your grace, it shows the cross

As every knee shall bow

Christ's sacrifice brings me home

As it took a heavy toll

And I cry out with angel's songs

Declare!

My soul, my soul-

The Sovereign King, my soul

-Will

Diligence

I have no idea why I would make yet another blog...I mean with facebook, myspace, xanga, twitter, and now blogger. But thinking about it, I feel like every blog had it's own purpose and I'm trying to correlate this blog to my spiritual life, songwriting, and music.

1 in the morning and I've got church to go to in a few hours. It kind of sucks how tired I already feel about my church responsibilities-but I'm guessing that I'm going through the motions. Been there, done that and my lack of diligence really brings some serious damage to my relationship with God. I smell apathy just waiting to latch itself back on to me right when I'm starting to feel close with God again. It's so discouraging to feel like you're making progress and then to have it all cut down by the same mistakes (porn, due to late nights on the computer, maybe I'm trying to replace it with blogging, lol). Also, not to mention the summertime, when the ladies start shedding the clothes-talk about getting attacked from all sides. Give me a break.

Anyhow, I had my first bible study last week with my freshmen boys. I feel like there is a connection, but it's going to be difficult to get close with some of them because I'm already close with a large chunk of them. But I have a plan! I'll be taking out some of the boys out to eat every week-different people as the weeks go on. I'll definitely be posting a lot about my class. Honestly, I have never taught a bible study and it boggles my mind how I have to improvise while waiting for Pastor Jason to come back and give me some direction. Then again, I guess I should ask some of the more experienced teachers. Above all the ministries I'm involved with at church, I seriously hope that I make a positive impact on these guys...

Morbid, really, how I start out with such a downcast position. I should be cheerful or optimistic about the future! Seeing as God has never failed me before, I should just take it into account that I'm going through yet another dry spell in my walk with Christ.

Diligence is something that goes hand in hand with faith. Faith, in itself is diligent-unwavering faith shows a strong will and sense of diligence. Naturally, a lack of faith will point to a lack of diligence. Or I could simplify it and say I have faith or I don't.

In my own personal experience at the moment, I just don't want God enough - and by that so-honest-that-it-hurts statement, it comes to a deeper and more concerning part of my life that I am just so frustrated over! I can't live up to my name and position I have at church but I'm expected to follow Christ...to be like Him, and I know that the real burden falls on God. Shit, I wouldn't want to be the one molding this stubborn, perverted, faithless dude named Will. But wow, at the same time it's not just that authoratative stance where "THE FATHER" strikes me down with his discipline and commandments, but rather God shows some serious love and compassion for me along with his thunderous wrath and discipline.

God never had to place any responsibility or expectations on me. But He has and in a way I really need to take the talents I've been given and show God, NOT the church or my peers that I can be faithful. I don't need the approval of men to be faithful.

Sooo, bottom line, I need to be diligent. God has met me halfway and I need to get off my ass and off this computer and get moving. I swear I've written about this in my Livejournal but I guess I'm still not getting it. Drill it into my head and heart until I've got it then, Jesus.

I'm going to make these posts public. I have no need to look like an overly holy saint to my peers when they know AND I know that I'm totally not. So just to be clear, there will lots of transparency in my posts-Sure, I'd like to refrain from cursing in my posts but I'd rather put some more time into qts and fleeing from sexual immorality. Everything is permissible, but not everything is beneficial (1cor 10:23) - I'm going to be real. No bullshit Will Kwon in this blog and yet, God still loves me.

Thanks God.

(I will also try to make my posts wayy shorter than this)