For God's glory.
My break was supposed to be a time where I got deeper into prayer and the Word. Rather, I've wasted time doing neither-instead, I've been frivolously scouring craigslist, lounging in this very chair I sit in for hours on end, and sleeping at highly unreasonable hours-only waking up to teach guitar lessons and to go to class. While, the rest of the time I would wallow in my obsession with pornography, my comfort sin.
It's a terrible thing to let the devil have a foothold in your life. It's almost as if you've conceded to defeat and deny the chain-breaking power of grace. But I'm tired of lies and I'm certainly tired of trying to act "transparent" by putting on a holy facade. Screw holiness if it's only for the means of being "holy." I used to be riddled with guilt whenever I knew sin was taking over my life-but I would override it with service to the church-thinking my sins would be overlooked if I could just contribute to the kingdom. All chaff. Nearly all my work is chaff-do you guys know what chaff is? It's the outer layer of grain, completely inedible and absolutely useless. When the harvest rolls around, chaff is burned up and the actual harvest yields reward for the harvester, as he will partake in it-whereas the one who had nothing but chaff will starve.
Here I am to apologize-to everyone. I am sorry to my praise teams, whom I left-I led you all on with my double life. I would come to short periods of repentance for my behaviour, but short-lived repentance is hardly repentance at all. So I'll just say that I'm sorry for being the unfit, unrepentant leader that I was. If I have ever stumbled any of you, I ask that you forgive me (for your sake as well as mine). I am just a boy, trying to become a man who walks in righteousness.
I am not fit, nor was I ever and nor will I ever be-to serve in the glorious kingdom that which is ruled over by Christ. But I find that we all come from the same mold-as unrepentant, undeserving people...Which makes grace all the more sweeter and yet almost bitter in the sense that it is given to a recipient who has neither earned nor deserved it in the slightest.
Praise be to God, who gives life freely to those whom he chooses to give it to.
I submit to His authority and power-and not by any of my doing do I choose to obey, but as a response to his goodness. Lord...
His unmerited favor and His Son upon that cross and raised to life is what has saved me from my sins and from my self. and Saviour.
His Word will not hang around the threshold of my mind and soul as a medal or badge to merit my authenticity as a follower of Christ (though it may contribute to that argument) but rather to bolster my knowledge (of him) and love for him, that I may be more and more submissive and suffering on behalf of His glory.
S: Therefore, having these promises, beloved, let us cleanse ourselves from all defilement of flesh and spirit, perfecting holiness in the fear of God.
2 Corinthians 7:1
O: In the previous chapter, Paul talks about how believers cannot be bound with unbelievers-how we need to cling to the promise of being set apart from the world and therefore being a part of the adopted sons and daughters of God.
Of course, read in context, I'm sure this goes hand in hand with 1 Cor 15:33 where Paul states that bad company corrupts good character-just as much as a believer will want to influence others, they must be well rooted and well grounded in their faith-so as the Corinthians needed to be addressed of their problems, it holds true today that Christians cannot spend all their time in the company of those who will inevitably bring about a corrupt influence upon them. From the extreme of Christians walking, talking, and acting like the world - I also garner the opposite extreme being a danger as well:
The perspective of shutting out non-christians from church does not at all support the fact that God desires all men to be saved (1 Tim 2:4). (A:) Not only should we be set apart from the world, but we should not shun the world as if we were never a part of it to begin with. All called by God are called to make disciples of all nations (Matthew 28:19) and so we must be the ones who influence.
But to push it further and to question, how will we be set apart from, and yet still influence the world?
A: To be set apart is revealed clearly in this particular point in Scripture that which I bolded in the beginning (and it happened to be the first thing I read when I finally get back in the Word...I believe the Lord is trying to tell me something, LOL). We need to cleanse ourselves from all defilement of the flesh and spirit, perfecting holiness in the fear of God. Once again, the obvious states that this does not say that I must be perfect in a day-but I need to give up everything without hesitation for the sake of meeting that standard which can only be met by the blood of Christ. There is no room for rationalization or of an incubation of a "little" sin in this life that which must be set apart for Christ. To be set apart means to yield to His authority and obeying it-basically, not sinning...to be the very influence means not just being free of sin-but also taking the Lord's preceptive commands seriously, as prayer and action that aligns with God's will will change the world. They go in order though-be set apart (don't sin) and then influence (do what God commands!).
P: Lord, I'm glad that you've made a stand in my heart. Thank you for bringing me back to your Word, which I thought I didn't miss-but now, feeling at a loss for my disobedience and stubborn ways. May you be glorified in all that which You've taught me today-for I start life again, anew! Cleanse me from all defilement of flesh and spirit, and teach me to fear You, O Lord-that I may find a perfected holiness when the time comes. I want my repentance to be true, that I may come before You with no baggage(well, there's always been baggage, but I want to get rid of it!), but rather with faithfulness. I thank You and praise You for just another day. In Christ, amen.
Soli Deo Gloria
Praises ^_^ Was once lost but has now been found ^_^ Welcome home, bro :)
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