Matthew 15:3
O: This was a very serious statement-as Jesus was pointing out the emphasis the Pharisees put on man-made tradition and laws. That their "devotion" to God and Scripture became so legalistic that they put upon themselves unreasonable and unbearable burden. It became a checklist and a race to see who could uphold the most commandments and how perfectly they could conduct themselves-a commendation of some sort for being able to discipline one's self to know, uphold and enforce all laws (which was a problematic approach from the beginning as it was impossible).
Today, I hung out with one of my very best friends, Josh-He said something I could have easily said a big amen to because it perfectly describes our situation. "We're being sent out to help others (he's referring to all the outreach work his church was trying to do through events and such) but we can't even help ourselves." The week before this, I realized how empty I really was running on-it was like a spiritual meter with the light on, indicating I needed more fuel. With only a few drops I was trying to run distances that was impossible by human strength and yet I would continually refuse being filled up because somewhere deep down, I enjoyed being lazy and I enjoyed be "so tired."
Do we not wear out our own brothers and sisters in Christ to the bone in ministry? Aren't we just spoiled in expecting praise with a praise team other excess extravagance that could be used otherwise? We struggle so hard to have the best equipment, most exciting retreats and the whole way through I never seemed to ask myself, am I being faithful? I would have easily set aside a practice time in lieu of prayer because praise team "needed" that. Where are the true needs being met ? I think amongst all the hub-bub of all this bustling church activity, we are rationalizing that we do a good work despite the fact that our own souls are seriously lacking any evidence of the fruit of the Holy Spirit. That we are running on empty without prayer and the Word and constantly asking "Why the dryness?"
And without realizing it, there is an empty, non-Spirit driven ministry on our hands that will utterly condemn us unless we repent and acknowledge that which God has outlined for us in life.
Why does our modern church have to be identified by awesome praise and good events? This in it's own right proves that we have elevated a certain tradition amongst our churches over what God seeks in his worshipers: faithfulness in worshiping Him in spirit and truth.
A: I know church. I know the ins and outs of church like no other. I want to marked as a man for Jesus not because I play lovely music for the Lord (though I may try to do that), but solely because I am rooted fully in Christ. A man of obedience and diligence-sanctified not because ministry tells me it's required to serve BUT because God tells me it's required of His children. I know I make the same inference over and over again, but the key difference is that I tried to shed my sins and sought sanctification because of ministry rather than because I loved God and wanted to be more like His Son. I must be Christ-like. Empowered by the Spirit rather than by blaring music and other weak, useless foundations.
P: Lord, you have blessed me even in this totally lame time of detox where I keep poisoning myself once you're done purging me of it. You truly exceed all loving patience and kindness-I know that I must be so frustrating to deal with. Yet nothing frustrates Your great plan and so I praise You for that constant source of comfort-You are good and nothing will ever change that.
Father, forgive me of my lusts-I can never win against my flesh, alone. I trust that submitting to Your commandments and praying for deliverance can be all I can do. It is in Your hands-and I don't want to draw up that veil yet again, confining me to my boring self. I know that I have also placed ministry above Your throne in my heart-please forgive me of such an atrocity, I never thought it'd ever get so bad. But I realize I have and I repent of my idolatry.
I thank You for the blessings and even the luxury I live in now, Father. I honestly have nothing to complain about other than my weak character-You provide for me in abundance and I cannot thank You enough for that. May my life be a reflection of thanks given to You, Lord.
I only ask that You would abide in me, Father-as I'm trying to abide in You this very moment. I just want to be faithful to You. It's so painful not having You in my life because of sin and apathy and lethargy. It absolutely sucks. I hate it so much. But Father, I know that You hold me in Your hand despite how disgustingly deep I've fallen in my pit. Thank You so much. Abide in me. In Christ.
Soli Deo Gloria
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